The lyrics of this song are based on the words of a poem by Stephen Levine. Stephen and his partner Ondrea have spent much of their lives discovering the miracles that arise when we face illness and death directly and accompany ourselves and others through the losses and gifts that come with that essential territory.  I've put Stephen's poem below the song.  If you listen as you read you'll notice that I've left a few words of the poem out, and repeated or rearranged a few more words to make it work as the song evolved.  And I've added one line at the end.   Stephen wrote, "That is what we sing about", and I added, "That is all we ever sing."  I've sent the song to Stephen and Ondrea and they loved it.  It's with deep gratitude to them for the tremendous gift of their work that I post it here. 

Millennium Blessing
By Stephen Levine

There is a grace approaching
that we shun as much as death,
it is the completion of our birth.

It does not come in time,
          but in timelessness
when the mind sinks into the heart
and we remember.

It is an insistent grace that draws us
to the edge and beckons us to surrender
safe territory and enter our enormity.

We know we must pass
          beyond knowing
and fear the shedding.

But we are pulled upward
          none-the-less
through forgotten ghosts
          and unexpected angels,
luminous.

And there is nothing left to say
but we are That.

And that is what we sing about.

Although this song mentions February, March seems like a good time of year for it.  Every few days a different kind of weather moves through. Spring is beginning in the south but still hanging back in the northland.  I feel an exhilaration with the wildly swinging temperatures, with the unpredictability of things.  

I wrote this song a few years ago at a moment when a sudden illness stopped me in my tracks, literally, for a while.  A project involving lots of other people ground to a halt.  At first this was a big shock and a scary thing for my mind. Then a couple of weeks later, on the first day that I was able to stand and play a guitar again, I stood out in the late February sunshine and reveled in the fact that I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next, no idea when and if that project would get finished.  And this song was born.  This is the recording from that day, and you will hear the leaves crunching under my feet! 

Sometimes realizing that we don't know is terrifying. Other times we recognize it as the powerful, liberating truth of how it always is, and we look around at where we are, and enjoy the ride.  

I Don't Know
© K Hannan 2012

Standing in the sunlight, all my plans are wrecked
I'm just standing here, I don't know what comes next
I don't know
My mind tries to know, but I still don't know
I don't know
My mind tries to know what it cannot know

All the birds are singing by the sunny creek
It's still February, it could snow next week
I don't know
My mind tries to know, but I still don't know
I don't know
My mind tries to know what it cannot know

And deep deep under
Love keeps flowing like a river, like a river, a river
Endless love river, endless love
Endless love river, endless love

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know