Rest & Abide ~ Lilith Clara Rae Walters
(All photos on this page are by the exuberant and talented Valerie Moura.
You can contact her via Val's page on facebook)
(All photos on this page are by the exuberant and talented Valerie Moura.
You can contact her via Val's page on facebook)
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The beautiful woman in the bed above is Lilith Walters, on an evening in February, very near Valentine's day, when her friends and co-choristas of the Bodies, Voices and Spirit Chorus visited Lilith and sang with her. Although Lilith was lying down during all the singing, in this moment she popped up in the bed and made a very funny joke, delighting us with her wry humor and indomitable spirit. Lilith passed away on the day after Easter, shortly after co-writing her first song with me. (The sound file from that morning, when I sang the song into Lilith's I-phone, is at the bottom of this post. I decided to post the original recording here even though it has one note that wasn't quite right, because the feeling of it for me holds the peacefulness of that morning. Lilith had been having a great weekend with lots of energy and many beloved visitors.)
In the 4 1/2 months since Lilith's cancer diagnosis she showed so many of us what it is like to face death with courage, humor, emotional honesty, and openness to giving and receiving love. Lilith spoke up about what she wanted; she told us what she was feeling; she laughed, she cried;
she surrendered over and over to the things she could not control;
she consciously looked deeply into resentments she had, saw through them and did an inspiring job of letting them go.
And Lilith was supported in this deep process which I'll call "healing while dying" (or "living while dying") by a number of vibrant, creative, healing, interwoven communities of her friends. There was wonderful food, there were votive candles burning, there were gorgeous new flower arrangements each week, there were drums, flute, guitar, singing, photos, valentines, puppies visiting, books being read, messages of love exchanged via facebook and email, massages being given, yard work being done, prayers prayed, Hospice palliative care keeping Lilith's pain minimal, friends visiting and friends staying overnight, and deep spiritual inquiry into the nature of life and death happening all along.
What comes to me to describe Lilith and her many friends is the phrase "The Whole Thing Is Doing The Whole Thing". There were so many people helping in whatever way they were drawn to help, each bringing unique gifts and each receiving unique gifts in return. As the months unfolded it became clearer and clearer that Lilith and all of us are part of a very intelligent, immense Love that coordinates everything precisely on time, teaching each of us what we need to know, and flowing through us constantly to create the next beautiful thing, to open the healer in both giver and receiver, to bring us our next revelation, to gift us with a next intimate moment of deepening friendship.
Lilith had the time and space for all of this to happen in large part because, having had a diagnosis with a short life prognosis, she courageously chose to live and die at home and not do any heroic hospital measures. She lived out her life in her spacious living room with large windows, surrounded by her tree and bird friends, as well as her human ones. That choice of hers to stay at home made it easier for everyone else to be relaxed, to enjoy Lilith's beautiful and peaceful surroundings with her as we looked our own mortality in the face. I felt that I was on a collective spiritual retreat every time I came into that sacred space.
Thank you so much Lilith, for teaching all of us, and learning from us as well. Our understanding of dying and of living has been transformed through your great generosity in sharing your journey with us.
We miss you, and yet you remain completely with us, in our hearts, always. Namaste my sweet sister. Love, K
The beautiful woman in the bed above is Lilith Walters, on an evening in February, very near Valentine's day, when her friends and co-choristas of the Bodies, Voices and Spirit Chorus visited Lilith and sang with her. Although Lilith was lying down during all the singing, in this moment she popped up in the bed and made a very funny joke, delighting us with her wry humor and indomitable spirit. Lilith passed away on the day after Easter, shortly after co-writing her first song with me. (The sound file from that morning, when I sang the song into Lilith's I-phone, is at the bottom of this post. I decided to post the original recording here even though it has one note that wasn't quite right, because the feeling of it for me holds the peacefulness of that morning. Lilith had been having a great weekend with lots of energy and many beloved visitors.)
In the 4 1/2 months since Lilith's cancer diagnosis she showed so many of us what it is like to face death with courage, humor, emotional honesty, and openness to giving and receiving love. Lilith spoke up about what she wanted; she told us what she was feeling; she laughed, she cried;
she surrendered over and over to the things she could not control;
she consciously looked deeply into resentments she had, saw through them and did an inspiring job of letting them go.
And Lilith was supported in this deep process which I'll call "healing while dying" (or "living while dying") by a number of vibrant, creative, healing, interwoven communities of her friends. There was wonderful food, there were votive candles burning, there were gorgeous new flower arrangements each week, there were drums, flute, guitar, singing, photos, valentines, puppies visiting, books being read, messages of love exchanged via facebook and email, massages being given, yard work being done, prayers prayed, Hospice palliative care keeping Lilith's pain minimal, friends visiting and friends staying overnight, and deep spiritual inquiry into the nature of life and death happening all along.
What comes to me to describe Lilith and her many friends is the phrase "The Whole Thing Is Doing The Whole Thing". There were so many people helping in whatever way they were drawn to help, each bringing unique gifts and each receiving unique gifts in return. As the months unfolded it became clearer and clearer that Lilith and all of us are part of a very intelligent, immense Love that coordinates everything precisely on time, teaching each of us what we need to know, and flowing through us constantly to create the next beautiful thing, to open the healer in both giver and receiver, to bring us our next revelation, to gift us with a next intimate moment of deepening friendship.
Lilith had the time and space for all of this to happen in large part because, having had a diagnosis with a short life prognosis, she courageously chose to live and die at home and not do any heroic hospital measures. She lived out her life in her spacious living room with large windows, surrounded by her tree and bird friends, as well as her human ones. That choice of hers to stay at home made it easier for everyone else to be relaxed, to enjoy Lilith's beautiful and peaceful surroundings with her as we looked our own mortality in the face. I felt that I was on a collective spiritual retreat every time I came into that sacred space.
Thank you so much Lilith, for teaching all of us, and learning from us as well. Our understanding of dying and of living has been transformed through your great generosity in sharing your journey with us.
We miss you, and yet you remain completely with us, in our hearts, always. Namaste my sweet sister. Love, K
Rest & Abide
lyrics by Lilith Clara Rae Walters
melody by Kathleen Hannan
Rest and abide, deep down inside
Where there's no place to hide from Love
La da da da, da da da da
Where there's no place to hide from Love
You've often talked about liking the dark
I've never liked it a lot
But now the darkness is soft and comforting
Without the pain to remind me of dying
Rest and abide, deep down inside
Where there's no place to hide from Love
lyrics by Lilith Clara Rae Walters
melody by Kathleen Hannan
Rest and abide, deep down inside
Where there's no place to hide from Love
La da da da, da da da da
Where there's no place to hide from Love
You've often talked about liking the dark
I've never liked it a lot
But now the darkness is soft and comforting
Without the pain to remind me of dying
Rest and abide, deep down inside
Where there's no place to hide from Love
The photo of Lilith and the Bunny and all the great pictures on this post are by Valerie Moura. You can contact Val through her facebook page.
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